KR won the challenge cup. I cried when they won. I know how much it meant to you. I wore your shirt, it smelled of you. I felt so close to you, like you were sat next to me watching it with me. You were supposed to be there in body and soul, but your body was elsewhere. Your soul filled that whole stadium though, you were in every single seat. You gave them the win, they played for you.
I love you so much. I miss you so much it hurts. Knowing you won’t be there at my wedding (if Jack ever proposes as you’d say!), or at his graduation (yes, he is a Doctor, no, he isn’t a professor). You won’t be there if we ever have kids. Who am I supposed to call when everything goes wrong? Where am I supposed to go when my world comes crashing down? I lost more than my auntie Barbara the day you left. I lost half of me.
You taught me so much, about how to be an adult, how to cope in this world, how to be proud of who I am. How to stand up for myself, how to not take anything from others. How to love my family, love my friends, how to be honest even when my voice shakes. You taught me how to be brave. I will continue to be brave, and will carry you with me everywhere I go.
I can’t explain how close we were to others, and I don’t want to anyway. It was for us, for me and you. Auntie doesn’t cover it, but I don’t have any other words. We knew what we meant to each other, and I know that will carry on in this life, and the next, and the rest after that. I love you, I miss you, and I will spend my life making you proud.
Forever my auntie Barbara and so much more ❤️
Bea Bulman
09/06/2025
